The Peanut Gallery

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The peanut gallery is defined as "a group of people whose opinions are considered unimportant." This definitely applies in pregnacy and I'm sure beyond, when people offer unsolicited advice or make comments that are utterly useless. Lately I haven't been getting advice so much as I have been getting comments from the peanut gallery and "well meaning" stares of disbelief/pity.

DISCLAIMER: While I understand that often people want to give a compliment or say something rather than nothing, I can assure you that some comments are neither helpful or encouraging.  When a woman is carrying around 10 lbs of baby in their belly, sometimes it's okay to just give that knowing look of sympathy or solidarity (if you've been there), or even better offer snacks, especially chocolate. Whatever you do, don't feel like you HAVE to say something, especially when you don't even know the person... 95% of the comments I receive are in line at the grocery store or from people at work that I have never talked to before.

Here is an example of some of the comments I've received in the past week or two...

"Ohhh any day now!"

Yeah... 6 weeks to go... Let's hope not.

"Boy they sure have dropped!!"

Have they? I couldn't feel the immense pressure on my pelvis and bladder... That must be why I pee 75 million times a day, thanks for clearing that up.

"You know you're not supposed to swallow the watermelon seeds right??"

This one actually made me chuckle... much more original than "Hey... give me back my basketball"  to which I now just respond with a blank stare.

"Oh honey, you look miserable...  and just look at those feet, ouch!"

Thank you for your honesty? and I would if I could... my view is currently blocked by my massive belly.

"How are you? You look exhausted."

Well looks like you just answered your own question.

"Really?!? Twins?!? You can't even tell, seriously, there's no way you have 2 in there!"

That's funny, sure feels like two when one dances on my bladder and the other nestles his head under my ribs.

Me: "Can I get some help to my car with these cases of water, I can unload everything else just not these"
Cart Boy: "Well how did you get them in the cart then?"

First of all, rude. Second, If you must know I slid my cart next to the tower of them and shoved them off one at a time while 5 people passed me and not one offered assistance, just stared at me like I was crazy. 

"OMG, Twins?? Seriously you look so much better than some of my friends who just had one."

This one is a little bit two fold, I want to say thank you, but at the same time who are these poor friends you are throwing under the bus? Do they know you thought they were huge? Also, while I appreciate the boost in self esteem it could just be left at "You look great!" am I right?

Side note: I happen to have a long torso which means instead of them growing outward they just stretch out in there (hence the rib cuddling and bladder dancing) and why I might appear smaller than someone who is 5'2" carrying twins. This comment is also bothersome because no two pregnancies are alike so you shouldn't be comparing one woman to another. I'm not sure why we feel the need to compare or compartmentalize things either, but that's a whole other issue.

Moral of the story - when in doubt just smile and say nothing. Especially if you don't know the person. Or if you MUST say something to the mama in the grocery checkout line make sure it's encouraging like, "You look great!" or if they look exhausted a "Hang in there" would be appropriate. And if the cart boy above has taught you anything, offer help to preggos who seem to be struggling, it's hard enough not being able to perform mundane tasks, don't make us beg for assistance.

What are some of the best Peanut Gallery comments/questions you've gotten while pregnant?