To my students...

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Dear Students,

I owe you a bit of an apology. Until now, you were my main focus - you were my kids - your successes, your failures, your learning was my top priority. You are still so important, but if I'm being honest, you just aren't number one anymore. You've been replaced. You used to consume my thoughts all the time, even when I was not at school. I would spend hours wondering how to make my classroom environment more welcoming, how to make my teaching more relate-able, how to help the few of you who just don't get it and the list goes on. My Facebook feed was filled with articles and witty blog posts about education. I would worry day and night about all 100+ of you.

Don't get me wrong, I still do all of those things, just not as frequently. You've been replaced by two little boys who need me more. Two little boys who are going to make an appearance this summer and steal my heart forever. This will happen after you have graduated, after you have moved on from high school and all your teachers, myself included, but that doesn't mean you weren't affected before then. Even now, these two little boys need me - they need my focus and my time outside of the work day. They need me to get ready for what is coming and they have already made their presence known in so many ways. They have stolen my energy, my attention and my sleep. All the things I need to be an effective educator.

To each and every one of you I am grateful; grateful for your concern when you didn't know what "was wrong with me" those three months that I was too nauseous to stand up and teach every day. For your encouragement on those days I was too tired to function, so I utilized student led learning or small group discussions to teach you. For making me laugh by suggesting I see the doctor because, "I didn't look too good" (morning sickness for 9 weeks will do that to you). To some of you for not pointing out the obvious and for having the grace to let me share the news in my own time. For being so understanding when I had emergency doctor appointments, and needed to move deadlines or throw together a sub plan at the last minute. Thank you, for embracing me and sharing in the joy when I was finally able to tell you the news. For always telling me I look cute and "oohing and ahhing" over my belly (for real, y'all are my self esteem boost on a daily basis). I am especially grateful to those of you who continue to challenge me as a teacher and hold me accountable to doing my job. For those of you who expect things from me and raise the bar by being so on top of your work. Thank you for still asking the hard questions, but also for not faulting me when I don't have the answer or have a bout of pregnancy brain.

I hope that my experience has taught you a few things, most of all a lesson in priorities, responsibility and humility. It's okay to shift your priorities, but not to abandon your responsibilities. It's okay to admit you can't do it all and to focus your energy on what REALLY matters. Sometimes the bare minimum might be all you can do but make sure that minimum fulfills the requirement and don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong or need help. You don't have to be superman/woman just be you and let that be enough. I will miss you class of 2015 and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

Love,

Your Very Pregnant and Emotional Teacher